Questions to Ask Before Moving Closer to Your Kids
If you’re thinking about moving closer to your kids… it sounds like an easy decision. You get to be near family, maybe help with grandkids, and spend more time together. But what a lot of people don’t realize is… this move can either bring you closer together… or create challenges you didn’t expect.
So today, I’m going to walk you through what you should really think about before making that move… so you don’t regret it later.”
QUESTION #1 – Why do people choose to move closer to their kids?
This usually comes from a really good place. Most of the conversations I have with clients around this aren’t about real estate at all, they’re about family. It’s wanting to be there for the everyday moments… not just the holidays. Being at the kids games, helping with a new baby, or just having Sunday dinners together again. Those are the things that start driving these conversations.
I’ve worked with several clients over the years who made this move. Their daughter had her first child. It was their first grandchild and within six months, they were calling me saying, “We don’t want to just visit… we want to be part of their life.” They ended up moving from out of state and they love being there for the small milestones.
There’s also a practical side to it that people don’t always say out loud at first. According to research from organizations like AARP, a large percentage of adults over 50 say staying connected to family and especially grandchildren is one of their top priorities when making a move.
For some of my clients, they retire and are ready for a change. Often, they are empty nestors and the home feels too big. Being closer to kids can feel like bringing energy and purpose back into your day-to-day life.
But what I’ve learned over the years is this, while the reason for the move usually comes from love and connection… how that actually plays out day-to-day can look very different than people expect. And that’s where asking the right questions, really matter.
QUESTION #2 – What are the biggest challenges people don’t expect?
I have clients that make the move and find out being closer doesn’t always mean spending more time with family together.
What I see happening a lot is people move with this picture in their mind of how life is going to look. But their kids are still working full-time, juggling school schedules, sports, activities, and everything else that comes with raising a family. So even though you’re now ten minutes away instead of a plane ride… their day-to-day life hasn’t slowed down.
I had clients who moved here to be closer to their son and grandkids, and they were so excited. They bought a home in Green Valley Ranch. Unfortunately, the kids schedule was so busy even on the weekends that they didn’t spend a lot of time together. They ended up selling and moving to Florida. They still come back and visit often but now they are enjoying their time at the beach!
Another piece that comes up is adjusting to the dynamic. When you live far away, visits are planned and intentional. When you live close, it can get a little blurry. I’ve seen situations where grandparents feel like they’re expected to babysit a lot more than they anticipated… and on the flip side, I’ve seen adult kids feel like they’ve lost a little bit of their independence.
There’s also the social side. When you move, you’re leaving behind your own routine. Your friends, your favorite places, your community. I’ve had clients tell me, “We miss our friend group.”
of this means it’s a bad decision, it just means it’s a bigger lifestyle shift than it looks on paper. And the clients who navigate it best are the ones who go into it understanding that proximity and connection are not always the same thing.
QUESTION #3 – How close is TOO close?
There is a big difference between living in the same city… and living in the same neighborhood—or even on the same street or some of my clients have even purchased a larger home and even moved in with the kids!
I had a client who originally told me they wanted to be “as close as possible” to their son and his family. They were even considering buying in the same neighborhood. The kids live in Inspirada. After we talked through it, they decided to stay about 10 minutes away and move into Sun City Anthem. Inspirada has a lot of young families. And later, they told me that was one of the best decisions they made. They see each other all the time, but they still have their independence. They love Sun City Anthem. He joined a woodworking group and has made several friends. Plus, they are far enough away that it never feels like anyone is dropping in unexpectedly or feeling obligated.
There’s quite a bit of research around this too. Studies on family proximity show that people tend to have the strongest, most positive relationships when they’re close enough to see each other regularly but still have a sense of independence in their own daily lives. That balance is what keeps things healthy long-term.
Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes living very close by or even together can work out very well. My mother-in-law (we call her Nana) lives with my sister-in-law’s family. My nephew has down syndrome and years ago Nana quit her job when he was born to help him. He is now 16 and doing amazing. It works for them!
So, when you’re thinking about this move, don’t just look at one aspect. Ask… “What distance will actually feel good for both of us?”
QUESTION #4 – What does this mean for your lifestyle?
This is where I always bring the conversation back to you… because you want to make sure this move works for YOU too.
It’s really easy to build this decision around your kids and grandkids and again, that comes from such a good place. But when we start looking at the plan, I always ask my clients to really look at what their day-to-day life is actually going to look like. What else is important to you? You’ll still have hours in your week that you want to be fulfilling.
I was just talking to one of my clients who lives in Texas and considering moving back to Las Vegas. They had moved years ago to be near their grandkids but the kids are getting older. Their oldest granddaughter is 18 and headed off to college. They have a lot more freer time than they expected. She told me, “We want to be back in Las Vegas and focus on how we want to spend out time now.”
Job relocations happen, kids move, life shifts. I’ve seen families move to be near family and then the kids relocate for work and now they are wondering if they should move again too. So, you want to ask yourself… if that happened, would you still love where you live?
And that’s why I always encourage clients to choose a location that fits their lifestyle, not just their kids’ address.
I ask my clients, “if your kids weren’t here, would I still want to live here?” That answer will tell you a lot.
QUESTION #5 – What’s your long-term plan?
This is the part that really separates a good decision… from a great one. Because this decision isn’t just about today… it’s about the next 10–15 years.
When I sit down with clients, this is where I start asking a few deeper questions. What is important to you about your lifestyle? What do you enjoy doing? Do you want an active lifestyle with social calendar or pickleball and activities? I’ll walk clients through areas like Sun City Anthem or Anthem Country Club and we will talk about what their life would look like here beyond family.
Health is another piece of this that we have to look at realistically. Needs change over time. Maybe today stairs are no big deal, but five or ten years from now, a single-story home might matter more. Or being closer to quality healthcare becomes a bigger priority. Groups like AARP talk a lot about planning ahead so you can stay comfortable and independent as long as possible.
So, I always bring it back to this, if things change, what’s your plan? Do you stay where you are and build your own lifestyle here? Do you move again? Or do you choose a home and location now that gives you flexibility either way?
Because the clients who feel the most confident after making this move are the ones who didn’t just follow their kids… they made a decision that still works even if life shifts.
At the end of the day, you want to feel like you have options. Not that you backed yourself into one path. That’s why these questions matter so much.
“Who should NOT make this move?”
I think this is just as important to talk about… because I’ve seen people make this move for the wrong reasons… and it doesn’t always work out.
One of the biggest ones is moving out of guilt. Maybe the kids say, “We wish you were closer,” or you feel like you should be there more. But when the decision is driven by obligation instead of something you truly want, it can lead to resentment over time. I’ve had clients quietly share with me later that they gave up a home and friends they loved… and didn’t realize how much that would affect them.
And then there’s the financial side, which is a big one people don’t always talk about enough. Moving can come with higher housing costs, HOA fees, property taxes, and just the cost of starting over. I’ve seen people stretch themselves to make the move happen, thinking it will all “work out,” and then feel pressure later on.
So, I always say… this move should come from a place of excitement and it should be a financially smart decision also.
Because when it’s the right decision for you, it can be an incredible next chapter. But when it’s not fully thought through, it can create challenges that people didn’t expect.
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